Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Thoughts Continued

Since I am stuck at school with no students, I guess I have the perfect opportunity to finish posting about Lent. I figured if I am going to give something up, I wanted it to be something challenging for me; I wanted it to be a true sacrifice. However, I didn't want to sacrifice for the sake of sacrificing. I wanted to choose to do something that would help me to be a more godly wife and mother. In other words, I could give up chocolate or Starbucks, but I didn't see how that would help me improve my heart.

In case you don't know, I am not a morning person. I hate waking up. I can't wake up. I am always rushing in the mornings because I have hit my snooze button over and over for an hour or longer. Since August of 2005 when Emily started daycare, I have always stayed in bed while Dee gets up 20-30 minutes before me. I rush to get dressed while he clothes, feeds, and gathers belongings for our children. The only thing I contribute is brushing Emily's hair. And then, he takes them to daycare. I have pretty much spent the past 5 years pouting every morning about the fact that I can't be a stay at home mom; therefore, I have felt justified in making Dee do everything. I know I really need to get over it already.

Just so I feel a tiny bit better about myself, I do think I was justified when the kids were babies, and I was up nursing a baby during the night and using any spare moments at work to pump. But those days have been over for almost 2 years now (Ty will be 3 in April).

So I decided that for Lent, I would refrain from hitting snooze. I will set my alarm clock to a time that will allow me to get myself and the kids ready with time to spare, and I will make myself wake up when it goes off. And on weekends, I have to get up when the kids get up. And when Ty says he's hungry at 7:30 a.m. on Saturday, I have to get up and cook for him instead of telling him to go get a box of raisins from the snack drawer. It is HARD, people. It is so hard for me that I don't know if I can do it, so I am publicly stating my goal to keep myself accountable.

I can say that as painful as it is for me to rise earlier than normal, I have loved spending the extra minutes with my kids as I help them get ready for the day. I have also been able to get myself ready at a slower pace, taking time to think and pray about the day ahead. And for some *strange* reason, the entire day seems to run more smoothly. I am still not a morning person, and I don't think I will ever be. But at least I don't have to be a rushed, cranky, chaotic, pouty mommy every morning!

5 comments:

Amy said...

Love you! Also, I can attest to you not being a morning person since I was your roommie for like 18 years!

Jennifer said...

Nice thing to work on! Good for you! I don't even SET an alarm anymore because I'm always up before that would go off anyway, with Colby. And, funny, I never hit snooze until I entered grad school! I seriously popped up when my alarm went off all growing up. Strange, I know. No way am I like that anymore though! Keep it up!

Becky said...

Great post Melissa. I love how you have chosen to use this tradition to inspire change in your own life through these 40 days...may these special moments with your family fill your heart with treasures as we approach Easter Sunday :) HUGS!!!

Sophistication said...

I find it extremely delightful from an intellectual point of view, to see how women literally need to express their feelings and resolutions to the world in order - , since that's what they intend prior to materialising their thoughts, - to receive positive feedback from their surroundings. As if they needed to be encouraged in order to change their habits.

You should know by now that it is a very common and plain thing to set an alarm clock earlier...

Melissa said...

Sophistication,
I am so happy that you commented. I am also delighted (from an intellectual point of view) that you seem to believe that you are a mind-reader.

I actually stated in my post that I was writing for accountability purposes (this happens to be a proven strategy for reaching goals). Also worth noting is the date. I posted a week after beginning my Lenten sacrifice. So I was obviously not seeking encouragement to begin making a change; I had already started.

And even if I had been looking for positive feedback, who cares? If you found my post or the events occurring in my life "common and plain," please remember that my blog is not required reading, and you are welcome to stop reading at any time.

Over the past few years, I have read many blogs written by women who are making small changes in their lives. These posts have helped me grow as a wife and mother. I was hoping that by posting my story, it would help another mom somewhere out there. And if that didn't work, I was definitely hoping that a "sophisticated" person from Belgium might get a good laugh at my expense...