Since I am stuck at school with no students, I guess I have the perfect opportunity to finish posting about Lent. I figured if I am going to give something up, I wanted it to be something challenging for me; I wanted it to be a true sacrifice. However, I didn't want to sacrifice for the sake of sacrificing. I wanted to choose to do something that would help me to be a more godly wife and mother. In other words, I could give up chocolate or Starbucks, but I didn't see how that would help me improve my heart.
In case you don't know, I am not a morning person. I hate waking up. I can't wake up. I am always rushing in the mornings because I have hit my snooze button over and over for an hour or longer. Since August of 2005 when Emily started daycare, I have always stayed in bed while Dee gets up 20-30 minutes before me. I rush to get dressed while he clothes, feeds, and gathers belongings for our children. The only thing I contribute is brushing Emily's hair. And then, he takes them to daycare. I have pretty much spent the past 5 years pouting every morning about the fact that I can't be a stay at home mom; therefore, I have felt justified in making Dee do everything. I know I really need to get over it already.
Just so I feel a tiny bit better about myself, I do think I was justified when the kids were babies, and I was up nursing a baby during the night and using any spare moments at work to pump. But those days have been over for almost 2 years now (Ty will be 3 in April).
So I decided that for Lent, I would refrain from hitting snooze. I will set my alarm clock to a time that will allow me to get myself and the kids ready with time to spare, and I will make myself wake up when it goes off. And on weekends, I have to get up when the kids get up. And when Ty says he's hungry at 7:30 a.m. on Saturday, I have to get up and cook for him instead of telling him to go get a box of raisins from the snack drawer. It is HARD, people. It is so hard for me that I don't know if I can do it, so I am publicly stating my goal to keep myself accountable.
I can say that as painful as it is for me to rise earlier than normal, I have loved spending the extra minutes with my kids as I help them get ready for the day. I have also been able to get myself ready at a slower pace, taking time to think and pray about the day ahead. And for some *strange* reason, the entire day seems to run more smoothly. I am still not a morning person, and I don't think I will ever be. But at least I don't have to be a rushed, cranky, chaotic, pouty mommy every morning!